Thinking About Myself in the Third Person

How ego-death cured my eating disorder for good

a woman with pink hair and a white top holding a dove, her face is fractured into many pieces that are floating around her head, and where her face would normally be is the night sky with stars
Ego Death by Full Metal Jacki
a pathway through a park at night, the bushes and grass shining vivid green under the light of a streetlamp
Where it all happened, Cremorne

“So I turned myself to face me,
But I never caught a glimpse
How the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test”

— David Bowie, Changes

The face of a woman dissolving into what looks like the sea, sky and space
Dissolution of the Ego by Olga Klimova

I had thought this was me. I thought that if I could control this character, if I could perfect her in the eyes of others, I would be happy. And so I would constantly be struggling with the discrepancy of my first person experience of life, and the way I believed people perceived this image. Trying to fix a first person experience, by thinking about myself in third person.

a psychedelic man sits merging with nature underneath the planet earth, on the top of his head there is an eye and there are vibrations connecting him with everything
Gratitude for the Earth, by Cameron Gray

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“The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds” — Cloud Atlas

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“The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds” — Cloud Atlas