“I’m too smart to have an eating disorder”

Delusion, denial and cognitive dissonance

Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash
One simple little idea, that changed everything.

The cognitive dissonance was the knowledge that if this was true (and I knew it was), then I must be a hypocrite to be restricting and purging and obsessing over my weight. I must be weak. I was in denial to protect myself from this feeling.

Photo by tabitha turner on Unsplash

The disordered part of me was glad.

“The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds” — Cloud Atlas