You're very unnecessarily harsh here Harris. I don't think OP was not dealing well with wanting to have sex. He seems extremely patient. And you condescendingly explain to him that pregnancy affects libido when he literally explained that HE KNOWS THAT but 2+ years after the birth and it's getting worse not better? And there's no indication on his wife's side that she thinks his wanting sex is valid or that she wants to express affection to him in this way again? You say he should whiteknuckle his way through a "couple of years" of this but this assumes you know things will get better. For a LOT of couples the wife NEVER WANTS SEX EVER AGAIN. How do you know this won't be the case for OP? You're basically shaming him into being ok with no physical or emotional intimacy for an indefinite period of time.

If OP reads this comment, checkout Dr Samantha Rodham on Medium. She will be a lot less judgemental of you.

As a woman with a physical touch language, I really feel for you. I hope you're able to have intimacy again with your wife. I know it's not just about sex but about emotional connection and feeling loved. If it was just about orgasm you'd be fine with masturbation.