You’re right in many ways BUT the particular case isn’t getting so much flak for simply being parents who can’t handle special needs but because:

• They monetised Huxley
• They seem to have deliberately gone for a special needs child to adopt in order to look like saints and get sponsorships
• They said “if our biological children had the same issues we would have gotten help for them”

Basically it seems like they never really considered Huxley a true son, or cared about his needs for him, they literally asked online before they adopted “what kind of special need are easy to handle but seem difficult to other people” — they wanted the clout for looking after a disabled child then when they realised he was TOO disabled for them, and he wasn’t bringing in extra money, that’s when they “rehomed” him.

Completely different situation to say, one of my friends whose child is severely autistic. She is a single mother with kidney failure, her son is now 16, and as he’s grown he’s become more and more violent to her, and she became unable to give him the care he needed while being safe herself and managing her health issues (multiple ER visits etc), to the point she eventually had to move him to a dedicated care facility. Do I blame her? No. Is her son taken care of there? Yes. Does she visit, chat with him all the time, send him things, miss him fiercely, feel guilt over having to do it etc? Yes. He is still her son and always will be. Completely different situation.