You don't have to understand. I have no need to justify my fantasies to you. But trust me when I say certain fantasies that turn me on to think about would be dangerous and wrong to act on. But thinking doesn't hurt anyone and neither does written erotica.

It's like saying just because you read an adventure story that you really want to experience mortal peril. Because you read Game of Thrones you want to experience graphic violence. That's bullshit. Sometimes things are fun to think about precisely because you don't want to act on them or experience them in real life.

You might when you're angry, imagine punching someone or hurting them. You might imagine taking vengeance in a violent way against people you hate. But if you're a good person, you don't want to act on those urges in real life, because you know they're wrong.

Everybody has a dark side. It doesn't mean we all secretly want to be criminals.

As an example, more than 40% of women have rape fantasies and find them arousing. This does not mean they want to be raped in real life. Or that they want to be a rapist.

With BDSM kink fantasies there's often elements of nonconsent or violence that are appealing in a power dynamic way, but that if practiced in real life need to be really consensual and safe. But in fantasy can be whatever you want to imagine. But just because you imagine an extreme scenario for a kink doesn't mean you want to experience or cause real harm.

Certain fantasies are only appealing to me as fantasies but if I ever heard of it happening in real life I would feel horrified, because in real life you feel empathy. In a fantasy, you don't, because fantasies ARE NOT REAL.

It's like killing in a video game. Doesn't mean you want to murder in real life. But it's fun in the game. Certain sexual fantasies have the same relationship to real life. As in, they are only appealing because they aren't real.