You definitely do vascillate dramatically between self aggrandizement and self deprecation. And it is off putting.

This article feels like a massive humblebrag. It’s like you think you’re better than ordinary people, but at the same time want us to feel sorry for you.

Have you tried therapy? Maybe that would help?

Because you can do remarkable things and be ambitious but still maintain a happy long term relationship. You can be ambitious and still content within yourself. What are you trying to prove, and to whom?

I’m ambitious but I still enjoy the rest of my life. The “70/79" you mentioned. You can “move towards the mountain” as Neil Gaiman says, while enjoying the journey and everything that happens along the way.

Life is a process, not an end goal. And I feel like right now you see everything as a means toward this nebulous “end” you long for. Including people. Maybe that’s the problem.