You can find disabled people attractive, find them incredibly, mindblowingly hot, and have wonderful sex with them and help them love their bodies and all of that jazz and that’s fantastic.

But when the disability is the number one thing you find attractive about them — what you define them as — that’s a fetish. You’re fetishising disabled people. And I’m sure as with most fetishes people have, you didn’t choose it and you can’t control it, and I’m not suggesting you have to. But at least acknowledge it for what it is, and try and see your partners for more than their impairments, and don’t pretend it’s a sexual orientation.