Wowwww. This could be written by my mother. Who estranged ME. I actually have been the one who reached out, who sent cards and messages, who was treated coldly and shallowly. So now I barely try anymore. I've let her know what my boundaries are:

1. I need her to acknowledge that her behaviour to me regarding my eating disorder (claiming I was doing it for attention and that I needed to just get over it), her homophobia (telling me that my support of gay marriage made her suicidal and the only way to make her not kill herself would be to stop supporting gay rights), and the silent treatment she gave me for a full YEAR, left lasting emotional scars and that while she may not have meant to hurt me, in actual fact she did hurt me.

2. I need her to accept that I make different choices in life than she would, that I hold different political beliefs than her, but that me doing this isn't a slight on her, I have the right to make different choices than she would and me doing this doesn't make me a bad person. I don't need her to approve of my choices or my politics or even my sexuality, but I need her to acknowledge that I have the RIGHT to make these choices and that me making choices for my own life as an adult is not something I am doing "to her", as she seems to believe that me making choices she wouldn't make is something done "to hurt her" and that therefore I'm a bad person, when actually my choices are about me, not her.

I told her this is my prerequisite for reconciliation, that I in fact WANT her back in my life, but that I need these two boundaries to be honoured. Unfortunately, she would not accept them. Tried to gaslight me about point 1, claiming that since I didn't have text message receipts about something she did over 5 years ago (since I've had a new phone since then) that I must be delusional.

I think she literally "can't stand to hear my truth" because if she did, she would feel feel guilt, and she can't bear to think she was less than a perfect mother. It's a shame. Maybe one day.