Well I don't know how women in general watch porn, but I'll tell you how I do.

First of all I have also gone down weird rabbit holes. Not so much on video porn but for written erotica. In fact the written stuff is usually MUCH weirder and more extreme than the video stuff, because it may contain stuff that is illegal and/or impossible under the laws of physics and biology. I'm not into hentai art form but I've heard hentai deals with similar topics and fantasies to the kind of erotica I've read.

In my experience with MYSELF (not speaking for all women here) my sexual psyche is as weird as any man I've ever heard of (excluding pedophiles or Ted Bundy type people, whose evil comes from their actions rather than their thoughts imo). Which makes me think it's not gender specific, and that it's in the nature of humans to have strange and even disturbing sexual fantasies. So long as they don't victimise anyone else (including by the content they consume), I think it's part of our psyche we need to accept.

I have also noticed that this does not interfere with my ability to have a loving and even at times transcendent real sex life.