Unconditional Self-Love

What would it even feel like?

Source: PsychologyToday

In her eponymous TV show, RuPaul says a total of 159 times: If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?”

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As a result of these experiences, I internalised a belief that there was something wrong with how I relate to people.

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Maybe that neediness was what drove my other friend away? Maybe I am demanding, or entitled, or “too much”. Yes, I must be “too much”.

I told my therapist, and she said that I should practice self soothing and sit with my feelings and work towards not needing other people’s reassurance that I’m OK and still loved.

My therapist said something else to me. “What if you are too much for this person? What if that caused them to leave you? That wouldn’t mean there was anything inherently wrong with you.”

Infinity Room by Yayoi Kusama

So then I started to think about how I feel when I truly let myself feel worthy of the love that OTHER people show to me. Is that self-love?

Sense8: Amor Vincit Omnia

That revelation that I’d been having? I was worthy of others’ love.

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What even is the Self? Not the ego, not who I feel myself to be right now, or my child self, or my Ideal self I strive to become?

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Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

And that is something I can do whether I “deserve it” or not because it’s an inherent part of my consciousness that is there no matter what I do to others or achieve at or fail at in relation to others.

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“The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds” — Cloud Atlas