This ScaryMommy thing is so sad.

A penis isn't a living dildo. It's the most sensitive, pleasurable appendage of a man. It's vulnerable. When he puts it inside his lover, he's not unfeeling, he is trusting her (or him or them) with his pleasure. It's like putting his feelings inside you.

This is in the context of a loving relationship especially. And ESPECIALLY in marriage.

When your husband wants to share his penis with you it's not just a flesh stick he's showing you. It's the feelings, the sensitivity, the loss of control - it's an act of vulnerability, of sharing. Showing what you want to the person you love the most. Opening yourself up for rejection.

It's so sad to see all these women turning away and rejecting these appeals for connection.

I'm not saying that some men and some husbands are assholes or inconsiderate. But I'm very sure that many of these instances ScaryMommy is mocking isn't that. It's instances where a man - perhaps clumsily, perhaps misunderstood - reaches out for connection, for love. And is rejected by the person he trusts the most.

That's so sad.

I love my partner's penis. Not as a dissociated "thing", a fleshy dildo - it's as much a part of him as his face, his hands, his heart. I love his penis because I love him. I love sex with him not because it's the same as masturbation, but because it's different, because it's intimate, because it's a living person inside me, my living person, my love.