This is true for the so-called “high functioning” autistic people, but there needs to be a middle ground between listening to DOCTORS and therapists, and listening to the “neuro divergent” because in many cases, autistic people cannot speak at all, or can’t communicate their needs, they express their frustration in violence and self harm, and their parents/carers need at a certain point to be able to find a way to give them care in a way that allows for the most potential options in the person’s future and also doesn’t expose the parent/carer to abuse, violence etc. Because while many autism advocates claim that “parents pretend to be put upon”, actually being a parent of a severely autistic person has similar impact on your life as being in an abusive relationship (except it’s not the fault of the person being violent), except according to neurodivergence activists the abuse victim deserves no shred of sympathy and in fact probably deserves (usually her) treatment because she “must have abused her poor child in some way”.
Case in point, I have a friend who is a black single mother with kidney failure. Her son is quite severely autistic. She loves him, and has never been abusive to him, she has done nothing but help and support him. And yet as he’s grown older he’s beaten her on multiple occasions, knocked her to the ground (causing hospitalisation) etc. She lives in fear of her own son’s violence, which is caused by his autism. She shouldn’t have to experience that, and he shouldn’t have to feel the fear and frustration that causes him to lash out.
And yet there are people in the neuro divergent movement that would claim this young man doesn’t need therapy, doesn’t need medication, should be let to do whatever he likes whether that’s beat his mum up or run onto a road and be hit by a car, because “autism isn’t a condition it’s a way of life”.
Not all autism activists obviously but I’ve met several like this and it’s like they think their own experience and independence is the norm and what worked for them will work for everyone with autism, and they know better in ALL ways than people who dedicated their lives to the topic.
Yes neurodivergence is important but so is the medical profession and in some instances the neurodivergence movement is right and in others the doctors are right.
As for the self identified “mad” people, my fiance has schizo-typal psychosis (atypical so it’s not full schizophrenia) as well as multiple personalities (not full DID because he is self aware of them), depression and anxiety. He’s in prison for killing someone in a state of psychosis. I was a witness to his state of mind at the time. He’s a good man but his illness is not. However, medication and therapies are imperfect, so far there hasn’t been an antipsychotic we’ve tried that has worked or come without terrible side effects. So right now he’s not on antipsychotics though he takes anti anxiety and antidepressants. He still hallucinates, but through his own efforts he’s become better at identifying reality and delusion, so perhaps one day he will be like (the fictional version of) John Nash, who is able to ignore his hallucinations even though he still sees them. My fiancé does have “A Beautiful Mind” and his neurodivergence is something I never want to go away as it fuels his creativity. But at the same time, his worst symptoms need to be managed so he will never lose control of reality and hurt anyone (or himself) ever again. Right now he’s made a vow that even if voices tell him it’s to save his life, or he has a paranoid delusion that he needs to defend himself from a monster, he will never harm anyone ever again for any reason, even if it was self defence, because it could be that it’s a delusion, so he can’t take that risk. Again there’s nuance to the neurodivergence movement here because I love my fiancé’s neurodivergent mind and yet, there are things about it that DO cause harm to others and to himself, which for the sake of everyone need to be brought under control, whether medical or therapeutic or some other form.
