This article is confusing.
You say that you don't feel sexual attraction to your husband. Or to anyone.
But then you list all the reasons you want to have sex with your husband.
- for intimacy
- because you're horny and it feels good
- because you love them
- because it's fun
But what is sexual attraction except the combination of all those factors? What else is it supposed to be?
When I feel sexually attracted to my husband it means
- I am horny and I know having sex feels great
AND
- I love him and want intimacy
AND
- I want to get as close to him as humanly possible
AND
- I want to express my affection to him physically
What else is sexual attraction?
I don't understand this idea that you can feel all of the above for someone and be MISSING something in your attraction. Because to me that's what attraction IS.
Like yeah my partner's body is attractive but I'm not attracted to him for just his body, until I had emotional intimacy I didn't want to have sex with him. But it's all a part of the beautiful person he is. And the more I find out about him, the more layers I uncover, the more I love him, and I want to express that love through sex.
And like you, I have a very high libido that is expressed through fantasy and erotica as well, so I have very high sexual energy. I just don't feel like having sex with just anybody. And bodily beauty is not the main thing that will make me attracted to someone. It's their personality and their showing me their true self. But I don't think it's because I'm asexual. I think it's because I know that I can give myself as much pleasure as I want by myself and give myself a guaranteed good time when I'm horny - and unless I'm going to get something MORE than that from partnered sex, I don't want to put myself into an experience where I make myself vulnerable and possibly be hurt at worst, dissatisfied more likely.
I don't think I'm missing any sexual attraction whatsoever to him. Indeed I think the kind of attraction I have for him will last the test of time even when we are no longer "young and beautiful". After all, the largest sex organ is the brain.
