The way we normally think about the self is in third person. We imagine ourselves as we see ourselves in the mirror, we call ourselves by the name we were given or a name we give ourselves. That's ego. Realising this is all a construct, is liberating. Because the real self, is experience. My first person experience of life isn't constantly self reflective, constantly imagining another version of myself inside myself that I need to behave towards as if my core self was separate from me. I don't have to "relate to myself" the way someone other than me would relate to me.

Engaging with the construct of the ego can be helpful in some contexts such as in inner child work, shadow work and the therapy called "IFS" (internal family systems). The ego is also something that is incredibly FUN to play with. Like my ego is a character that I embody every day of my life. Knowing that it is a character however means that I don't have to feel anxious about making mistakes or how I am perceived. The ego is my art.

I wrote more on this and how it fits in with recovery from anxious attachment in my article "Unconditional Self Love" where I came to the realisation that self-love isn't actually the love of the ego, but the love of life itself. Because the self isn't the construct we create that we call the ego, but the entire experience of subjective awareness from the inside, facing outwards. https://ladyreverie.medium.com/unconditional-self-love-958c707775cd

Also in regards to nondualism, I've written before that in order for experience to exist, both nondualism and dualism need to exist. That's the paradox of being. Separation and unity. Both need their space and their time. But current society focuses on separation 99.999% of the time.

My favourite nondual teacher is Alan Watts, because he is very non-dogmatic and doesn't claim that one really goes from a state of unenlightenment to enlightenment, but rather that "samsara and nirvana are the same thing". So you can be enlightened without abandoning your life or your "self" in that sense, even if you do realise that the ego is a construct. Because Maya means not only illusion but also art, performance. Music is a construct, but it's still worth doing for its own sake. Just like the ego is. Recognising the ego for what it is frees you to actually enjoy it properly rather than with anxiety.