The thing is I’m not interested in Dom Sub things in real life. Nor in certain fantasies are the women holding power. It’s not “consensual nonconsent" or “pain that gives pleasure”. It’s just rape and torture and degradation.

Not that this is by all means the only thing I fantasise about but it does come up. And I wish I didn’t find it arousing to be quite honest.

But you may be right in that subconsciously the mind interprets fantasies like that as “safe giving up of control” even if the actual content of the fantasies are not about that.