The issue people have with you passing judgement on your affair partner's marriage is that you ONLY know the marriage through a very ONE SIDED story that your affair partner told you. And yet you never seem to think they could have either lied or been self servingly biased towards you. Instead you take every bad thing that they said about your affair partner's wife, and assume it's 100% true, and thus pontificate about how this wife was a bad wife who was unaffectionate etc when you honestly don't know for sure that this is the case. Maybe it's true maybe it isn't. But I think it's likely that your affair partner was dishonest about what he told you to at least some degree.