The disparity between women's sexual pleasure and men's sexual pleasure on aggregate in heterosexual relationships is a useful thing to know and be aware of. However because sex is the most intimate thing people can share with each other, and each person's sexuality is so complex, physically and emotionally, and comes with so much baggage and hangups from their past, I do wonder sometimes whether it's useful to care about the "orgasm gap" in the aggregate as if it has any impact on your own sex life. So many factors go into it that aggregate statistics about thousands or millions of people don't really tell you much about your PERSONAL relationship and why you yourself might not be having as much sexual pleasure as you want to. So articles that use "the orgasm gap" to try and give advice on the individual reader's sex life I think miss the mark sometimes.
Basically "the orgasm gap" on aggregate may have different factors that influence it than "the orgasm gap" in your individual personal sex life. And conflating the two can be harmful. On aggregate the orgasm gap may be due partly to sexism. But individually it might be due to that or it might be due to the fact that you have a mental block that prevents you from letting go in front of someone else, it might be due to not being able to orgasm at all (10% of women apparently report never orgasming even via masturbation), it might be due to not yet finding the right techniques that work for you, or being assertive enough about your desire, or having trauma in your past, or a medical issue like vaginismus or something else. Thus the conclusions drawn about the "orgasm gap" in aggregate should not be applied to individual circumstances because only you as an individual can know why YOUR orgasm gap exists (if it does exist) and it's maybe more useful to publish tools for readers to apply to their own circumstances to better understand their own sexual life rather than assume that it's always entitlement or always sexism or always selfishness or whatever.
Not saying you do that, I'm saying the articles that tend to write about the "orgasm gap" as a feminist issue tend to make this mistake of conflating aggregate and individual experiences.
