Thank you for your kind words.
One of the things Alan Watts said which stuck with me (I keep mentioning him because he’s my favourite teacher) was that most people who seek enlightenment believe subconsciously that they only “deserve” enlightenment once they’ve worked hard enough for it. They feel that they need to purify themselves, that they need to do all these difficult exercises, that they need to lose all desire. But then the realisation comes that desiring not to desire, is a form of desire. And then the question becomes — how can you desire not to desire? And you realise that you can’t. So then the question is, how can *you* (the ego) achieve enlightenment? You can’t. The ego can’t. You can only achieve enlightenment by realising that the ego is an illusion, a character. And once you realise that (and you can realise this spontaneously, instantaneously), you laugh. Because you shed the ego and realise that you ARE the universe. You are EVERYTHING. The subjective experience of “I am” is just focused in your body and you’re aware of it like that in a mortal body. But the subjective experience of “I am” (consciousness) is in everything, experienced from its own point of view.

Have a listen to this (only if you want):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM2nRUgr9jA&ab_channel=Elements-Meditations%26Mindfulness

I listened to this about six months ago, and my anxiety and my eating disorder disappeared. It was amazing. Because I realised all of it was about my ego. Who I thought I was, wasn’t the real me. There is no real separation between me, and the air I breathe. No real separation between me and the water I drink, no real separation between me and food I eat. No real separation between me and the microorganisms that live on and inside me. And further to that, this same wind passes through all lungs, this water has cycled through so many bodies since the start of life on Earth. And all energy on earth, comes from the sun. In a way, plants are an expression of the sun’s energy. As are animals. As are we. So there is no separation between me and the sun. And all things in the universe came from a singularity. The Big Bang didn’t end, it’s still going.

We are *all connected*. Not in a metaphorical way. In the most real way you can imagine. We are all moving patterns, and all are integral to each other.

If you can see that, and *feel* it to your core, that’s what enlightenment feels like. At least in my view. ;)