Sounds more like your ex has never heard of the word “bisexual”. Seems more likely than that she was faking the last 10 years of sexual attraction to you.

My theory is she lost the spark with you, which happens in all sorts of marriages, and at the same time fell for another woman. Maybe she’d never let herself admit she felt things for women before this.

While I support people being true to themselves, the fact your wife was cheating on you with this woman behind your back is her problem not yours. And being a lesbian or bisexual doesn’t excuse cheating.

I’m sorry dude.

Maybe her identifying as a lesbian rather than bisexual is to try and give you an out too. Because if she admits she’s bisexual, then she has to admit that she could have stayed with you, she did feel attraction to you once, she just doesn’t anymore.

BTW I’m bisexual so that’s why I feel like I can put forward this theory. Take it with a shake of salt of course.