Sometimes your articles make me wonder if you're pushing down feelings about polyamory because you think negative feelings are bad and a sign you're "brainwashed by monogamous society".

If the only good sex you can have with someone is when you're drunk or high, that's usually a sign that your sober self isn't ok with something about the situation.

From how you write it seems like sometimes you have sex with Eric because you feel like you ought to want to have sex with him, and that if you don't sometimes, or if you don't when you're sober, something's wrong with you.

But I don't think that's true.