Something interesting I discovered about love is that self-love isn't actually directed towards yourself the way you direct love at others. It's not like you can look inward to Yael and love her the way you wish someone else would love you. Whenever I have tried to love myself in this way I see inside myself nothing but a void. It's like trying to see my own face without a mirror. If I look at the projections of myself I create in my mind I see them for what they are, psychopomps. Not the True Me. Flickering shadows of the ego. Useful, but loving them is like loving a ghost, or a memory. It never quite sticks. It always feels somewhat phony.

But you CAN love yourself. And what it looks like, is the full appreciation of life. Directed outwards, in the dance of experience. As such you do not ever have to lose yourself. Because self love is actually something that cannot ever be shared with someone, and it is a completely different form of love to the love you have for someone else. As such there's no competition. You do not need to "make room" for this kind of love, as this love is expressed in every second of every experience you let yourself have. In fact, the more you pursue "the love of the Other" because it truly makes YOU happy, the more you are showing love to yourself. Just like when you draw healthy boundaries you are showing love to yourself.

In doing this you're not loving the persona of Yael, which is just what we as other manifestations of Supreme Being call what you call to yourself "I". The persona of Yael is important, but doesn't capture the fullness of what you are. Only you know the fullness of what you are. And that is the sum total of all your experiences that you as a subjective consciousness has lived, woven with the meaning you have given this experience.

I wrote about my own discovery of unconditional self-love here:

https://ladyreverie.medium.com/unconditional-self-love-958c707775cd