Really, so you can’t say things like “people can have sex with whoever they want” or “people can do what they want to their own bodies” because this is a “damaging, uneducated” statement?
If you want to interpret these statements as “gay men are just about sex” or “trans women aren’t real women” THAT’S ON YOU.
I’ve said these statements and it’s been in response to homophobes and transphobes. Who care about SEX part of being gay, and who care about the transition part of being trans. So if you’re talking to a homophobe or referencing a homophobic society and you say “people can have sex with whatever consenting adults they want” then you’re not saying gay men are just about sex. You’re referring to the fact that the sex with men part of being gay, is what homophobes have a problem with (not the “falling in love” part) and that you don’t have a problem gay sex. AKA you disagree with homophobes and the reason you do, is because consenting adults should be able to have sex with whoever they want. That’s the argument to take against homophobes. Likewise, if people are transphobic and against people’s transitions, then saying “people can do what they want to their own bodies” is saying you support trans people, and is a counterargument to people who think transition is crazy — that if they don’t like the idea of transition and wouldn’t do it themselves, other people can do what they like with their bodies so live and let live.
Taking these messages of support as somehow homophobic and transphobic is paranoia.
Also, why does it matter whether someone thinks deep down that you’re a “real woman” or not, if that belief doesn’t reflect in their actual behaviour? If they accept that you can do what you want to your body, can transition, and they treat you in all ways like a woman, why do you need to try and police what they believe inside? Seeking for “evidence” that deep down they don’t believe you’re “a real woman”?
I know some people who believe trans women are not the same as cis women, which I guess you could rephrase as “thinks they’re not real women” if you really want to (although I wouldn’t interpret it that way because what even is “a real woman”?), but they treat trans people the same way they do cis people, they respect their pronouns, and they support their right to self identify, transition medically if they want, and present however they want. So why is it necessary to try and dig into their psyche to see if they have the “correct thoughts” about you? The obsession with “thought crime transphobia” is weird to me. What matters is someone’s behaviour right? And how they treat you?
