Polyamory is an interesting thing, it’s something that I’ve experienced myself, and it’s how I met my partner and soulmate. However, the more strongly I love I become, the less it appeals to me. Not because I’m not theoretically on board with it, but because I feel that there’s a tradeoff, when you expand breadth you sacrifice depth. One’s ability to love may be infinite, but one’s time is finite. I choose to prioritise time for my soulmate, to put my love for him first. This sacrifices something else, the novelty of other people, but the reward is a love so transcendent and mystical that it more than makes up for it.

Now, this isn’t to say that my partner and I are not open to the idea of polyamory in the future, or our minds changing, just because we’re currently monogamous.

For example he’s always been supportive of me having other partners especially while he’s in prison and unable to be physically with me. And I appreciate that, and dabbled in it, and may do so again, but what I found is that the more I turn towards others to do what I wish my soulmate could do but he can’t right now, the less I turn towards him, and that’s not what I personally want from my life right now. So being monogamous, while frustrating in some ways, has led to creativity in finding ways to transcend distance and find fulfilment together, and we’ve learned so many amazing things as a result.

So it’s a choice, I’m very sure. Everyone is capable of polyamory (loving more than one person) but that doesn’t mean that it’s always what they necessarily want since some people may decide the tradeoff isn’t what they want in their lives, and some will decide otherwise, and both options are valid.