Nope. Not at all. Pain often IS the catalyst for spiritual wisdom but it absolutely does not have to be a masochistic slog where progress is only measured in tears. Losing the ego does not have to be painful either. It can be a HUGE relief, as it was for me. When my ego dropped away I laughed with pure joy and relief.

Alan Watts speaks of something similar too. Of nirvana being a huge "whew" feeling.

I feel like this article is trying to make out that the only way that someone can evolve is to suffer, and if they aren't suffering enough they aren't "doing it right" when actually the goal of spiritual enlightenment is to let go of suffering. This message can lead people who are suffering already (and who are on a journey to enlightenment) to think that they need to keep suffering and to feel guilt if they're not suffering enough. Which can hold them back.

You think that I didn't understand painful truths about myself before experiencing ego-death? I definitely did. In fact my anxiety disorder and perfectionism that ruled my life for many years was due to my hyper-awareness of my own flaws.

The beautiful thing about awakening is that you realise that "you" the individual was a character you made up in your mind. That there is no separation. That consciousness is infinite, and that you and the universe are one. And the character (the ego) is still there, like a sock puppet that you can play with if you want. But it's not the real you. The real you is infinite. Is everything. And for me that put "my" darkness into perspective. I had wondered for years why I had this seeming dichotomy within myself. How I could genuinely wish to help and soothe the pain of others, and yet also have a real sadistic streak. That cognitive dissonance made me so ashamed.

But realising "I am That" (everything) meant realising that I am not separate from Joseph Stalin, from Hitler, from the worst that humanity has ever wreaked. I am not separate from the most heroic individuals, the most selfless either. I am the black hole, and I am the nebula. I am Kali, and I am Devi. I am Shiva, destroyer and creator.

And so I don't feel guilt anymore for my conflicting emotions. I try to act with compassion always, and nurture the life-giving aspects of myself more than the destructive aspects. But recognising the capacity for evil within myself means that I can empathise with everyone. Because there is no separation, really.

I have hope that empathy can lead to evolution.

"I am vast, I contain multitudes".