It’s not always something that you did to cause them to feel this way though.

I agree it’s crucial to act as a teammate to your loved one but it shouldn’t just be you validating them.

They should be open to exploring how they feel and also caring about how YOU feel.

For example recently I had found something in a game that my partner hadn’t seen before. We are long distance so I was excited to share it. I read to him the secret background character info that I found and he stopped me after a while saying “baby, thank you but you don’t have to read the rest, it doesn’t actually interest me as much as you thought it would".

I felt really upset. I choked up and started being a bit passive aggressive. “Fine, nevermind. I was an idiot to think you’d like it".

He asked me why I was so upset and said “I think that you are maybe overreacting a bit, we should be able to be honest with each other without feeling like it’s going to cause major sorrow every time".

I recognised that he was right, and I could tell that I was more emotional about this than the actual event would warrant. So I said “you’re right, I don’t know why I’m so upset, I think it’s because I really thought you would like this and I got excited and took all these screenshots and spent time preparing this thinking you would love it, and now I feel a bit like my gift of love was rejected and I feel like a fool".

He then understood and said “oh baby, sweetie, I see it now, you wanted to give me something and connect with me, and I didn’t appreciate that enough, I’m so sorry my love. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. When I said stop I didn’t mean the whole thing just that particular character stats read as a list, I love hearing you summarise it in your own words, and I’m sorry I didn’t communicate that properly to you".

So we communicated through the issue, and both of us felt loved and seen and appreciated at the end, and both of us recognised we hadn’t communicated our feelings in the most effective or healthy way to start with.