It's interesting, this article makes me think about my own "identities" and how I feel discomfort/ambiguity with them.
I feel attraction to women and men (and NB people) but the attraction feels different for different genders (being attracted to a man is a different kind of feeling from being attracted to a woman). So I guess that makes me bisexual, and indeed I've identified as bisexual for several years. However I feel stronger attraction and more romantic attraction to men than I do to women. Does that mean I'm not "really" bi? I'm in a happy monogamous relationship with a man too, what's the purpose for me to come out as bi to everyone except to prove I deserve access to the queer community? I've only experienced overt biphobia from 2 people, my mother (who disowned me for it) and my best friend's mother. So yeah I guess you could say I've experienced it, and been "oppressed" by it, at the same time I'm "straight passing" in most of my life in a way that a gay person can't be.
Similarly, some have told me I'm on the asexual spectrum because I feel sexual attraction to people when I've formed an emotional attachment first, that makes me "demisexual" apparently. However I don't like the idea of being in any way asexual (not knocking it, just I don't want it for me) because I have a raging libido and I was shamed for having any sexual feelings and they were denied for many years. So for me healing from that comes with embracing and celebrating the fact that I am a very sexual person, BUT while I have a high libido, it's not DIRECTED at anyone except someone I have an emotional attachment to (in this case my fiance), in all other circumstances with my libido I would just fantasise or masturbate. Now some may call that "on the asexual spectrum" but if that kind of extreme libido is still able to be called "asexual" simply because I don't want physical sex with someone who I don't love and trust, then I question the meaningfulness of the word itself, as it's so broad as to encompass pretty much anyone who doesn't want to be promiscuous and have casual sex.
