Ironically, it was actually a woman who coined the word "incel" and she used it to refer to herself. IDK if that changes your opinion on the origins of the term. I don't think the woman who created the word meant it to mean "women owe men sex". She actually used it to refer to herself. It was a gender neutral word.
"In 1997, there was no Facebook, no Instagram, no Tinder. Even MySpace was six years away. Alana, who doesn't want to use her full name, was in her mid-20s and had just started dating.
"It had taken me a long time. I was kind of a late bloomer. I thought, 'Maybe there are other late bloomers out there.'
"I noticed people would talk about the 'lonely virgin' and make silly jokes about people who didn't start dating in their teens," she said.
She was living in Toronto, Canada, and started the website, Alana's Involuntary Celibacy Project, for those who were struggling to form loving relationships.
She described the site as "a friendly place", a simple website where she posted articles and ran a mailing list.
It became a forum for men and women to talk about being lonely, where they could wonder aloud about why they couldn't meet anyone.
"There was probably a bit of anger and some men were a bit clueless about how women are unique, individual humans, but in general it was a supportive place."
One couple who met on the site even got married.
"It definitely wasn't a bunch of guys blaming women for their problems. That's a pretty sad version of this phenomenon that's happening today. Things have changed in the last 20 years."
Alana abbreviated "involuntarily celibate" to "invcel", until someone suggested that "incel" was easier to say.
"The word [incel] used to mean anybody of any gender who was lonely, had never had sex or who hadn't had a relationship in a long time. But we can't call it that anymore."
