I'm not extraverted. I'm an introvert. I was homeschooled until the end of primary school, and when I first went to school I was bullied for being socially awkward and ugly and frumpy.

But over time I have learned to become better at making friends. I have learned to become magnetic. I changed my fashion sense to one that was authentic to me. I decided to say "screw it" to social norms and just be myself. I also read a lot of therapy books and applied the lessons to my own life. And I also deliberately took a job (corporate sales, starting from the ground level at a "call centre" level) that would force me to speak to people and get rejected thousands of times, so it would make me fearless about social interactions.

It's a mistake to think that people are born effortlessly magnetic and easily able to make friends. I was raised in an isolated religious family with no friends outside my two brothers for 10 years. I was kept away from modern culture and only experienced the wider world through books. I was also emotionally abused by my mother which led to me developing social anxiety and perfectionism.

I didn't have a relationship until I was 23.

I DID use to have a void in my heart that I wanted other people to fill. It was only when those friendships imploded that I was forced to assess what went wrong and in hindsight, I think it went wrong precisely BECAUSE I wanted them mainly for the validation they gave me. And I became desperate and needy when they distanced themselves, almost codependent, trying to contort myself to be the most accommodating friend possible to them.

Now I'm almost 29. In a steady long term relationship. With lots of friends. With a lot of therapy behind me. And a successful sales career.

All the good lasting friendships I have came from being mutually interested in something with the other person. And sure, emotional support developed out of that. But the origin of my partnership came from a shared interest in feminism and history. The origin of my best platonic friendship came from a shared love of Lord of the Rings (and other geeky fandoms). Over time these shared interest based interactions deepened as we shared more and more of our lives and struggles.

It takes effort, trust me. I am not speaking out of theory here. This is based on my life experience. And I would say there is at least SOME overlap between my experiences and the OP, and even you.

If you saw me today you would probably never guess the struggles I've had in my life. You would likely think I was always confident, pretty, witty, charismatic... But I wasn't. I was a nerdy, awkward, overthinking and anxious teen and young adult. It was only through 10+ years of deliberate growth and choices that I became different.