I understand that some people (like you) it is a trauma response. In fact it may be for some people who are narcissistic too.

But as someone who was "punished" by my mother giving me the silent treatment for A FULL YEAR because she found a comment I wrote online about how I had sexual desire and was bisexual... As someone who was emotionally harmed for years by my mother's weaponised fragility... As someone who was made out to be "abusive" and "hurtful" for simply having different political opinions, having natural sexual desire... for just existing, differently from how she wanted me to...

I don't like messages that say "simply expressing that silent treatment causes pain to the person on the receiving end is not OK and is needy". Because that's what my dad said to me, when after 3 months of this treatment I wept to him and asked why I was still being punished for such a slight transgression against her "values". But he said "it's not for you to say when it will end, she feels hurt and betrayed and it's not for you to say it's an overreaction".

Perhaps my mother due to her experiences in her childhood, truly was triggered by her adult daughter expressing her sexuality in an online platform far away from her eyes except when she chose to stalk me online. Maybe she truly was triggered by gay marriage, to the point she genuinely felt me supporting gay marriage and being bisexual, was a "betrayal" that genuinely made her want to kill herself. Maybe her needs genuinely were for me to just be a clone of how she wanted me to be and her "boundaries" genuinely did not tolerate dissent.

After all, she told me about how much trauma she experienced as a young girl from her narcissistic mother. I am sure it left mental scars.

So what though? She was my mother. It was her job to seek healing for her trauma, so she doesn't pass it on. But she refused to do that.

I have needs too. I have boundaries too. I have trauma too.

Perhaps her trauma made her incapable of empathy. Which is sad if so. I'm sure she's a sad woman.

But that doesn't mean I have to take on responsibility for her actions and her silent treatment either. I don't have to accept it as a reasonable response. Even if in her mind it genuinely felt like I traumatised her.