I think part of the problem is the idea of "dating". As a phenomenon. It's been made worse by the advent of apps like Tinder that commodity and gamify human connection. But "dating" implies trying to get to know someone with a specific outcome in mind. Finding love. But love isn't a "thing". It isn't an outcome. It's a process. It's an experience. It's like happiness, it's found in the process of doing something meaningful and being present.

Instead of dating, get to know lots of people, without expectations. Without a category that you want to put them in after two meetings. Without comparing them to a list in your head of criteria that they need to satisfy to be considered worth your time.

Get to know them because people are interesting. Get to know them because you are working together, or they walk their dog in the same park as you, or they are passionate about the same cause as you.

That's far more likely to result in love than if you "date". The best relationships arise organically from friendship.

Above all, stop measuring people against criteria. Stop living in terms of what people owe you and start relating to them as complex fully formed humans, not entities that either provide utility or not. The point of human connection is not obtaining utility. Mutual respect is a non negotiable. But going around judging people for what they give or don't give you, is missing the point of what relationships are. The connection, the sharing of selves, is the point.
I'm not excusing anyone who treats you badly by the way. I'm suggesting these people are the types who gravitate towards a concept of love as utility. They're out "dating" for what they can get. Not for genuine connection. So you run into them more than you'd find them in the wider world because they all cluster to this method of finding partners.
Also, being hourglass shaped and attractive doesn't have to doom you to being sexually objectified or treated badly. I'm hourglass shaped, and hundreds of people have told me I'm beautiful (it's because I have a creative fashion sense that causes strangers to stop me in the street and compliment it). But people don't disrespect me. I think it's because I exude confidence and I know exactly what I want in life, and how I expect to be treated and I don't tolerate people who don't treat me well. As a result I am surrounded by people who are respectful and good friends.