I see toxic femininity as a woman weaponising her adherence to gender norms to an overt degree. My mother was someone who would do this. Martyring herself so that she could play the victim for being a self sacrificing mother, and then saying stuff like "no one ever helps me" despite the fact that us kids and her husband would help a lot and often offered to do things that she would point blank refuse to let us do, and then when she did the thing we tried to do, she would complain that she "had" to do it.

I see this happen with some women who go "my husband is useless and never helps me" but then when he actually tries to do something to help she will be like "no one can do it right except me". It's a masochistic kind of passive aggression.

Playing the victim is often a manifestation of toxic femininity (NOT saying that being a genuine victim is, but that some women take people's good hearted efforts to support victims and use it as a means for power). Weaponised tears is another manifestation of it.

And in some cultures it's also seen as women enforcing on other women norms of femininity - such as a mother telling her daughter that losing her virginity will take away her value, or that she needs to cook for her husband, or have kids - down to the extremes of FGM which are perpetuated by women against other women, in the service of toxic ideals of femininity.