I haven’t tried all of these plants yet, but when I do I intend to do it very respectfully and under the guidance of shamans and trained lightworkers, at least initially. Especially regarding ayahuasca.

I tend to have more of a pragmatic approach to psychedelics, I “feel” the spirits sometimes but I interpret them as metaphors being generated from my mind, maybe tapping into our collective mythology and archetypes I’m not consciously aware of.

My concern is that falling too deeply into psychedelics and believing everything “they” tell you as LITERAL truth rather than understanding it as more symbolic messages to be APPLIED to real life, can absolutely cause psychosis. It happened to my fiance, who got very deeply into magic mushrooms after he and I started trying psychedelics together. We had tried LSD and mushrooms with beautiful results, feeling connected to what we called our “god and goddess selves” and a realm of spirituality we call “the metaphysical”. It was incredibly profound and transcendent and I loved it and treasure those memories and experiences as the best in my entire life. It changed me for the better and put me on a better path.

Unfortunately my fiance started to believe that the metaphysical was LITERALLY “real” in the same universe that our physical world is. He started taking high doses of mushrooms every week to connect with that side of himself, seeking divinity and transcendence. It culminated in a monumentally bad trip where he went completely psychotic and delusional, seeing things that weren’t there, and seeing a loved one who was with him (also on mushrooms) as a murderous terrorist trying to kill him. It led to him shooting this innocent person, while under the grip of a delusion.

Now he’s in prison for manslaughter, and he still gets delusions and hallucinations on a regular basis. I love him dearly, and it breaks my heart what happened.

I still take psychedelics by myself OCCASIONALLY and with great care. I will never touch mushrooms again though. I can’t trust them anymore. Right now I sometimes take LSD every 6 months or so. And it gives me that “top down” perspective on my life, so that I see my bad habits in context and realise actions I’ve been taking that are causing me to be depressed. That’s with a low dose.

I want to do meditation retreats to further explore my mind, and then one day when I feel ready, I’ll go to Peru and do an ayahuasca retreat with actual shamans to guide me.