I agree.
The OP writes of her confusion as to why a white man in a first world country would feel lost in a world that doesn’t seem to make sense, when people of colour, women, poor people, LGBT people etc have it worse.

But that kind of reasoning just doesn’t work. It’s like saying “don’t feel depressed because your life is great compared to so many”. It may be true but subjectively that’s not what they feel.

Figuring out WHY these people feel the way they do and ways to address the issue (NOT saying we should pander to them) is so important to stopping the rise of hate.

People start with a feeling of pain, and then many are seduced by rhetoric of hate to believe that the cause of their pain are the non-whites, the women, the Jews, the Muslims, the gays, the immigrants etc. They project their hatred onto the wrong target, and express their hate in absolutely unforgiveable ways — but where did that root pain come from though?

Society? Toxic masculinity that means men become alienated from their friends out of fear that being vulnerable makes you weak, effeminate, gay?
Capitalism? Where you can work hard for years and still struggle, where a single disaster can wipe you out financially? Technology? That makes people less connected with their community but more connected to extremist groups? The list of factors goes on and on…

It’s so hard to find a solution to this. Gun control is one measure, but it’s not a solution to hate. Voting out Trump is a measure, but not a solution. Deplatforming Nazis is a measure, but not a solution. All sorts of actions may make some difference but they won’t solve the problem or the root cause of hate.