I agree that you can’t hate yourself into self love. As someone who struggled with an eating disorder for years, it rings very true.

That said, I think you can love the way you look. Not in a perfectionist way, but in a “I feel that my outside is congruent with my inside” way.

The way I’ve learned to love my appearance (which isn’t the same as loving YOURSELF) is through the development of my unique style. I dress in very colourful, flamboyant clothes, with flower headdresses I create for each outfit. It’s unique and striking and represents my inner self very well. As a result I control how others perceive me. They don’t look at my thick thighs (if they ever did, but my ED made me think they did), they look at the creativity of the living artwork I embody. And that’s how I like it.

Also, seeing videos of yourself while you’re happy, laughing or in love is another way to learn to love how you look. Because you see your emotions living inside you, which is what the people who love and are attracted to you see in you, and what a static Instapic can never convey.