Great point! I am a self-directed and successful woman, but I am not completely independent from my fiancé, nor would I want to be. That doesn't mean I'm passive. After all he's partly dependent on ME as well. It's mutual vulnerability, letting each do things for the other. And we don't compete because the areas of life that we are successful in, are divergent but complimentary. We are both good writers, but we write different genres and about different topics. As a result we are each-other's biggest fans. I am a business woman, he is more an activist and teacher. We are both artists, but in different ways. I am a visual and fashion artist, he is a poet.

We each appreciate our lover as wondrous in and of themselves. We don't need to compete. I could never be my partner, he is perfect in his "isness". He would never want to be me, because I am already perfect at being myself and no one else could do it better.

"Where there is love, there is no comparison" - Unity, 2015

As for "being soft and letting yourself being taken care of" - as an "alpha female" who is the breadwinner in my relationship, you'd better be damn sure I WANT to be able to take off the mantle of being the boss, having all the responsibility, managing everyone else's feelings, and I WANT to be able to rest and relax and let myself be pampered and nurtured and let my guard down around my "knight". It's profoundly relieving to not HAVE to be "strong" all the time. Sure, I CAN be strong all the time. But no one is meant to be that way all the time. Neither are men. Being "the strong one" is TIRING. That's one reason why a lot of alpha women are boss bitches in the workplace but sexual submissives. It's so that we can have a break from being the one in control all the time. And being able to trust that surrendering control sometimes is ok, that you're safe, loved, protected, and that you can be taken care of too - that's a beautiful fucking feeling.