Good article. I started out in a polyamorous relationship because my partner was polyamorous at the time. And I was open to the idea of it. I gave it a red hot go with the best will in the world, to make it work. Because in theory it made sense. But I don't think it actually is for me. And it's not because I don't have an open mind or because I'm jealous or whatever people like to say about monogamous people.

I like to focus on my lover. I like him to be special. I like commitment. In fact I have only ever been with one person and that's my current partner, and for multiple reasons we're both monogamous now (and no it wasn't because I forced him to break up with anyone). And it's not because I'm sexually prudish either, I have a raging libido, it's just that I want to do one relationship really really well then dabble in a lot of unsatisfying and short lived flings. One time I tried to have a long distance girlfriend at the same time as my existing partner, and while the highs were high, the limerence whiplash I got from her was awful. And during that time I found the intensity of my feelings for her made my feelings for my current partner less salient by comparison. I don't want that. I want to continue stoking the fires of my love for my soulmate. And I do. We have an amazing monogamous relationship, full of passion and romance, and have for years. I would rather continue to build this relationship and make it stronger and more vibrant and exciting than spend that energy on a bunch of other people.

Yes it's possible to love more than one person. BUT it's not possible to focus on more than one thing at a time. And it's often extremely difficult to juggle the long term personal priorities of multiple people if you're in a polyamorous relationship. What if one person wants kids and the other partner doesn't? What if having kids takes away time from the other partner and they feel abandoned? What if some people want to move and one person doesn't? Etc?

And yes I get my needs met from a variety of sources including my dear platonic friends and family.