God this is so true. I struggle with this regarding one of my friends. It's my own responsibility, but damn I feel such an urge to try and solve her negative experiences. I guess because I feel like a bad friend if I don't. And going "damn that's rough I'm sorry you're experiencing this" seems like such a pat response. Especially when my friend shares how suicidal they feel. I feel like if I don't try to "cheer her up" then I could be failing her when she's feeling despairing and suicidal.