For me, my parents don’t know me completely. Only one of them (my dad) loves me unconditionally. But there are sides of me my father will NEVER know and I don’t want him to know. Because the relationship of parent and child is different from the relationship between “soulmates”. There are boundaries.

And my best (platonic) friend loves me unconditionally and I believe would be there for me always. But again there are certain sides of myself I would never share with my best platonic friend. Nor would he share with me. And that’s OK.

Whereas my “person” is my best friend and my “soulmate”. Not in a mystical way that there’s no one else I could ever love — in fact both of us are poly, but there is a certain level of deep trust, intimacy and vulnerability we have with each other that we’ve not experienced with others.

So yeah I do feel like there’s more depth in my romantic relationship than there is with my very loving relationship with my father or my platonic best friend. And that’s not to say anything bad about my dad or my friend.

It’s not so trite as “my partner makes me cum”, but more that we have a level of INTIMACY (including sexual but mostly emotional) that is beyond what I experience with other people, including other poly partners.

And at the same time yes, I’m my own person. I am not a “half” a person that needs to be made whole. But I do feel that with the right relationship what we can accomplish together is more than what we could be alone.

My partner sees me with a perspective I don’t have on myself, affirms my best self, gives me confidence when I don’t love myself. And sure I should love myself all the time but in the real world it doesn’t work like that. I don’t have an invincible shield around me, the world hurts sometimes, and we comfort and heal each other.

So I don’t apologise for having “my person”. It doesn’t mean I possess him, nor he me, but it’s a reflection of the special connection we share. It works for us, and if your way works for you good for you. But don’t denigrate people whose love style is different to yours.