Excellent point. I sometimes think the solution isn't always about "do absolutely everything your partner wants no matter how petty and if you don't you're a horrible wimpy person and a shitty spouse" as this author repeatedly seems to think, but sometimes it does involve talking through and understanding the root cause of the issue. Taking out the water bin isn't the issue. Flipping the sign isn't the real issue.

And I don't think it's just on one side either. I can guarantee that there are things that OP's wife did that irritated him, things she forgot about.

I forget to do certain things for my husband too. I don't mean to but I put them off. I try to show him how much I love and appreciate him in other ways though.

And he forgets things that I ask him to as well. We talk it out though.

It requires validating the pain but also their understanding that you didn't mean to hurt them.

The reason people get defensive is because they don't want to be accused of being unloving if they do actually love their spouse. It feels like an attack. So I think starting the conversation with "I know you love me and you probably don't realise how much this affects me, but when you forget to do this, I feel unappreciated and unheard and that makes me feel sad. It doesn't really make sense and probably has something to do with my childhood but I still feel it when it feels like you didn't pay attention to something I asked." And then ask for comfort. Because if the partner loves you, they will WANT to comfort you, and nurture you, and reassure you that they love you. And then usually apologise of their own accord. And then you can talk out the best next steps. Maybe the solution isn't always about tipping out the water bin, but about helping out more in some other ways. Or something else entirely.