Damn. I'm so sorry you've had so many violating encounters at the hands of cis women. It must be horrible, feeling so unsafe.

I think you're spot on about these women wanting to express power/sexuality/anger and feeling disempowered to do it against people they believe as more powerful than them, and so they feel that they are able to "safely" project their desires (in the case of the divorced drunk woman) or their anger (in the case of the two Black women) onto you in place of those they really want to express these feelings towards (cis men).

My best friend, who is a gay man, has had women grope him and touch him inappropriately and had these women weaponise their gender against him when he did not reciprocate. For example one woman was grinding against him at a party and when he wasn't enthusiastically responding she tripped and fell and then tried to blame him for "pushing" her and made a big scene trying to make him out to be the bad guy, the "evil man" when she was the one sexually harassing him. And the worst of it all was that he internalised the feeling and went into a guilt spiral about it, even though he did NOTHING wrong and she was in fact the abuser.

These women absolutely exist and it's disgusting and I don't blame you for feeling unsafe when you have had so many horrible interactions.