Actually, the Buddhist perception of attachment doesn't mean holding yourself off from feeling emotions. It means letting emotions flow through you without clinging. So you can love fiercely, and grieve deeply, but the emotions will not get "stuck" and become a vicious cycle. They will flow and pass and change again.

The misconception of what detachment from a Buddhist perspective means causes people to become dissociated from life. It sounds like you're acting out of fear, fear that if you let yourself love someone genuinely and intensely, it would destroy you to lose them. But that's not true.