"Abolitionists have a reputation for being superior, judgemental and insufferable. Those are the only abolitionists that let you know that they are abolitionists".

Vegans are vocal about being vegan because it's a moral imperative for them. Expecting a vegan to never ever mention that they are vegan (even in the most delicate, non judgemental way) is like expecting abolitionists against slavery to have shut up about being abolitionists.

The only reason I don't talk more about being vegan in my normal life is because I know that any more than the most mild "no thanks, I'm vegan" comment will be perceived as "self righteous and insufferable" by carnists whose cognitive dissonance is triggered. And I try to walk a fine line between being true to my ethics, trying to help animals more, and not immediately alienating everyone around me.

But expecting vegans to be completely silent and never ever ever mention what they believe in is unrealistic and unfair. No one calls antiracism activists (anymore) "self righteous". They just say "righteous". And we all agree. But back in the early days of abolitionism people did sneer at anti-slavery activists just like they sneered at early feminists, anti-colonial activists etc.

Good on you for reducing your meat intake. That's how I started too. Becoming vegan is a process for most people. Reducing meat, cutting out red meat, then becoming vegetarian, then finally cutting out dairy.